This morning’s post is written for you by new Mum Beth. You find Beth here http://bethan-no-y.blogspot.com/ or on twitter @plasticrosaries A really lovely post Beth – Thank you! Sometimes that’s all that you can do… Just Keep Going :O)
Just Keep Going
Yes! I’ve reached my three week breastfeeding milestone. I’m slowly plodding towards four weeks. Should I be proud of myself? I can’t say I am and I can’t say I’m not, all I can say is it isn’t easy, it isn’t always enjoyable but it is worth it. I’m breastfeeding because I have no good reason not to. I’m doing this post now because I think it’ll be interesting to look back on it in a month, six months or even a year and see if my opinions changed. So here’s my story…so far:
I found myself pregnant quite unexpectedly but threw myself into it wholeheartedly. I am not the most experienced when it comes to children, babies and that (I hadn’t held a new born until mine was born) but I had my views with regards to what I wanted to do. Breastfeeding was a definite yes, I was definitely going to do it. My main reason? Expense. I know this may sound a bit callous but my financial situation is such that every penny counts and if I can feed my baby without it costing me a penny, I will! Of course the many health benefits for me and her also played a factor and my other main thought was: what reason do I have not to? My attitude was IF I can do it, I will, IF I can’t, we’ll find another way. I didn’t want to put pressure on myself in case we simply weren’t able to do it.
Pregnancy came and went without complications. I had hoped to feed my baby as she was born but sadly due to needing an emergency caesarean section under general anaesthetic I didn’t see her until over two hours after her birth, at which point we tried feeding and it seemed relatively successful. We spend three days on the ward and I found it increasingly difficult to know if I was doing things right. I’m quite an organised person, in that I like to be in control of everything I can be and seeing other ladies on the ward able to gauge if their baby was feeding properly by numbers on a bottle was difficult. My baby was feeding all the time but she was also awake crying the entire night and the midwives were convinced she wasn’t feeding enough and took her off me and “topped her up” with Cow&Gate, making me feel a bit terrible. I thought we were doing OK? It turned out giving her this “top up” made her even more reluctant to feed and she dozed even more than she had been doing! How was I supposed to get her to feed from me!?!
Before I was discharged I had a lovely chat with a lady from BAMBIS (Babies and Mums BreastfeedingInformation and Support) who checked my numbers (I’d been writing down when she fed and how long for) and reassured me not to worry. I did still worry but much less and I felt comfortable going home and trying it out without an audience. I was still worried I was doing it “wrong” until a midwife weighed my girl on her 12th day and she’d gained 10 ounces! I felt victorious! I could do it! We could do it and we had the numbers to prove it! On her 19th day she’d gained another 10.5 ounces and in two days’ time we’ll see where she is now.
Breastfeeding makes me neurotic, some days we spend up to 20 out of 24 hours attached to each other but as long as she’s content and thriving, I can’t possibly stop.