Posted on August 17, 2011

Guest Post – What to do when your kids fight ALL the time?

Guest post
The lovely Elise is here on the blog today with a post about siblings fighting all the time! I have great experience with my eldest two age 14 & 4 being at each others throats ALL the time but haven’t found a way to deal with it yet! So if you have any advice for Elise and I then please do share it :O)
Elise is a mum-of-three who runs Bundle-O-Joy, a website dedicated to making maternity shopping easy.  From bundles for the sporty mum-to-be to bundles for the mum-to-be needing more sleep, Bundle-O-Joy is there to help. Maternity made easy!
You can find Elise on Twitter @bundleojoyuk and her website is

What to do when your kids fight ALL the time
I am pretty sure I am not alone with my complaint of my kids bickering ALL the time.  I’ve got a 7 year old girl, a 3 and ½ year old boy and a 1 year old boy.  Now, the youngest is spared from all of the fighting as the older two adore him.  For now, anyway.  It is the older two who are at each other’s throats, from one minute to the next, fighting over ever insignificant, petty little issue that they can dream up.  Sound familiar?
Is it their age gap?  Is it the fact that one is a boy and the other a girl?  Is it normal healthy sibling rivalry??  Whatever the reason, it is doing my head in.  I spoke with a friend this morning whose younger two seem to be the same with their constant bickering.  So, what is the best way to deal with it?
Let’s go through the methods I have tried:
1)      Splitting them up
2)      Making them spend time together
3)      Removing the ‘aggressor’, removing the ‘victim’
4)      Punishments
5)      Point charts
6)      Rewards
The list actually goes on and on.  And none of it has worked.  So am I doomed to listen to them squawk ‘Mum, he called me a name’ or ‘Mum, she’s copying me’ etc. etc. for the rest of the summer or indeed the rest of their childhood??
Quite by fluke, I have hit on a pretty decent method to deal with the two of them fighting.  I am sure it is no great parenting method, or nothing hugely original.  It just seemed to work for me.  Yesterday, the two of them were screaming at each other, as usual.  Instead of asking them to stop, yelling at them, or even picking who was right at that particular time, I bypassed the actual argument and took whatever small issue it was and made it into a joke.  I can’t remember exactly, but I think there was a song involved, which by the end they were both singing happily.  It was distracting them from the fact that they were arguing and trying to move it to something else so they’d forget about the bickering and wanting to prove their point.  As I said, it seemed to work and gave me a moment of sanity.   
As one of four kids, I can remember my parents having the same issues.  I must say, I do feel very bad for what they must have endured.  But they did endure it, as I’m sure we will…I just hope it’s not before I completely lose the plot!!

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