Posted on January 11, 2013

Feeling like a failure…

General Chit Chat/ Health & Fitness

I weighed myself this morning and I feel like such a failure. I have put on 4 pounds over Christmas I’m not sure what I expected really I suppose I thought I could get away with it is whilst I was working out so hard; it is funny really because I have never felt so fit in all my life and up until this morning when I weighed myself I felt incredible I wish now that I hadn’t weighed myself! But at least  I know that I’m going in the wrong direction so I can do something about it

Finding my inner girl is going very slowly. I’ve been pretty unhappy recently about myself this is never a good time to start shopping etc. I do have a plan to start a new healthy eating regime next Monday and hopefully when I’ve lost a bit of weight and I continue to workout I’ll start to feel better again and then I’ll concentrate on beautifying myself. I know there isn’t an end point and this is always going to be a continuous battle and I somehow have to accept that and try to make the most of what I’ve got! I think that’s the hard part for me; it’s like finding happiness, it isn’t a destination it is our frame of mind which should always be there! I think that’s what I’m trying to say, or if it isn’t you’ll understand maybe lol

I have no one to blame but myself I know it’s me who is the problem, I’m not trying to make excuses for myself I love food, I eat too much food and I find it very difficult not to eat nice food; I’m not trying to blame anyone else, or my health I’m just greedy. End of story!

It’s the hardest battle that I’ve ever had to fight!

I am really really going to try this new regime and I will be updating this blog every week to tell you about my journey and just to keep a journal for myself! Hopefully I’ll sort myself out and get a bit of confidence to go on a massive shopping spree and treat myself to some lovely new clothes. It doesn’t help having a toddler around 24/7;  it makes it impossible to go shopping, to the hairdressers etc Maxwell starts nursery in September so hopefully I’ll have a little bit more time for me and concentrate on being a woman as well as a Mum.

One thing I have kept on doing is getting my nails done… I love having pretty nails! This week I opted for blue with glitter tips! Not exactly how I wanted them to turn out but they do look nice 🙂 Think I’ll just stick with French next time though!

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  • Reply Jen January 18, 2013 at 10:24 am

    We are so hard on ourselves aren’t we? You will get there, keep plugging away – more at the little gremlins in your mind than anything else. You look gorgeous and you will have more time for you from September. Make sure you don’t fill it with lots of other things, and make sure you are kind to yourself x

  • Reply Karen January 14, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    Love your new blog sweetie, just flicked though all your recent posts and can’t wait to read more xx

  • Reply Sue Wilkinson January 14, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    Exercise is great for your health, for toning up muscles and helping with weight control, but if you do the maths, it takes a lot of working out to burn off excess caories. I’m sure you’re really benefitting from your exercise program and it’s a shame that you feel like you’re failing. Christmas is a difficult time for people who love food to stay on track, loads of people come back to the gym/classes with extra pounds to lose in January. Stick with it.

  • Reply Alli Marshall January 12, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    So when you weighed yourself did you do your measurements as well? As Kara says you could actually be thinner as you’ve built some muscle.

    Getting up & exercising at 6am takes dedication so don’t knock yourself down.

    Forget about what has happened & focus on what is going to happen.

    Keep striving to find that inner girl 🙂


  • Reply Rachael Jess January 11, 2013 at 2:49 pm

    Good for you for working out in the first place. My poor attempt at working out is 10 minutes in my lunch break and not eating after 6.30pm. I lost 2lb this week though but I dont know that was just a fluke!

    Keep going, maybe your body is just doing that ‘plateau’ thing they talk about on the biggest loser? (I’m addicted to it) and then next week – bam 5lb gone.

  • Reply Kara January 11, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    Am I going to have to get up there and beat your arse. Right 1st. You feel good. Getting up 6am every morning to do exercise is amazing. Have you considered you have built some muscle and thus some of that 4 pounds maybe that. Also it was Xmas. I am sure you had a few extra treats. Everyone gains weight at Xmas.

    Please don’t beat yourself up. Happiness will come with how you look. Give it a chance. I personally would give my right arm to look like you. I think you are beautiful.

    Small targets lovely is the way forward. Can’t wait to read about your new regime. Just remember how far you have come.

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