Posted on May 10, 2013

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

General Chit Chat

I can’t stand it any more!! I’m sick of me, I hate myself! I wish I could hide myself away and just stay there!

I hate dressing myself, I hate going out, I hate how I look, what I wear, I hate how I have just undone all my hard work!

I’m smoking AGAIN!

I’m fat AGAIN!

I’m unhealthy AGAIN!

STOP! JUST STOP THE WORLD I WANT TO GET OFF!

I need focus, I need control and I need organisation in my life and I have none of it… most days just go by in a total blur of getting up, sorting the kids and going to bed!

I need to pull myself together!

I need to get a grip!

Monday!

Monday is the day…

The nicotine patches go on.

The day I sign up to Weight Watchers

and the day Gillian comes out of the cupboard and kicks my fat ass back into shape!

I will not put up with this shit ANYMORE!

Monday is the rest of my life!

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7 Comments

  • Reply Making Progress | Finding My Inner Girl... June 18, 2013 at 10:09 am

    […] I said a while back in my ENOUGH IS ENOUGH post that I would give up smoking, start exercising again and join weight watchers; I set myself […]

  • Reply Dawnie Brown May 12, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    You can do it sis 🙂 I think you are gorgeous however you look but I also know that you can do it and kick yourself back into a happier position x

    • Reply Sonia May 14, 2013 at 8:15 pm

      Ah thanks sis x

  • Reply Mrs Teepot May 11, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    *hugs* Good luck.

    • Reply Sonia May 12, 2013 at 4:01 pm

      Thank you lovely x

  • Reply Charlie May 11, 2013 at 10:07 am

    Right. Now I’m not going to sit here and tell you you’re perfect and you’re gorgeous (although you are!) because I know when it gets like this it makes no difference at all what other people think. What I will tell you is that I have recently been feeling the same.

    First… do the weight watchers thing. I lost two stone a couple of years ago and felt amazing, then immediately put on three stone! I’m back on it and I’ve lost 9lbs so far with a lot more to go. I’m starving all the time but I can see a waist reappearing.

    Second… I’m 38 haven’t excercised since I left school. I’ve signed up to the gym via my GP which means it’s extremely heavily subsidised.

    Third… smoking. I’ve smoked twenty a day since I was 16, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, even in the middle of the night if I woke up. Last year I bought an ecig and have never touched another cigarette and haven’t missed it one little bit. Okay so I’m still heavily addicted to nicotine but I’m not poisoning my kids, I don’t smell (well I do but more on that in a minute!), I don’t cough, I can walk up hills and vaping has become an absolute pleasure. The e-liquids available are phenomenal and you can buy any strength of nicotine and pretty much any flavour you require. My husband likes menthol or tobacco, I’ve gone through candy floss, choc chip muffin, banoffee pie, peach, bubbalicious and so on. Because they are so sweet and flavoured I find it also helps me avoid snacking! Be careful though, if you go this route, there are some shocking products around! Plus it’s so so much cheaper.

    Anyway, good on you, you’ll do it. When you reach this point, you just act!

    • Reply Sonia May 12, 2013 at 4:00 pm

      Thanks so much for your comment hon, I’ve tried the ecigs and didn’t really like them much so am going to try and give up without them for now using patches. x

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